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Maybe it’s not too late this time. But we have to act fast. We have to rise up as one united people and shout from the rooftops: “Hey, we want to be able to buy TOP-loading washing machines! Viva la revolution!”

Yeah, that’s right. The Department of Energy wants to outlaw washing machines that you load from the top . . . you know: the easy way. Of course, front-loading washing machines cost a lot more. And front-loading washing machines don’t have that agitator gizmo that churns up the clothing the way top-loading washing machines do. So the front-loading machines aren’t as good at cleaning your clothes.

Nine out of ten consumers prefer top-loaders. But somehow the front-loading washing machines are supposed to be environmentally superior. Just like the new toilets that don’t flush as well as the old toilets are supposed to be environmentally superior to the old toilets that are now illegal. What environment are the policymakers talking about? Obviously, not the environment right inside your home.

Anyway, the Department of Energy had almost succeeded in imposing this dirty business on us, but thanks to the efforts of one lone congressman, self-limited Michigan Congressman Joe Knollenberg, the period for public comment is being extended. So click into energy.gov and send the Department your comment. And send a copy to your congressional representative while you’re at it. Tell them you don’t need the government’s help to clean your dirty laundry. Tell them the government should worry about its own dirty laundry. After all, they’ve got plenty.

This is Common Sense. I’m Paul Jacob.

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