The Queen of England is celebrating her 50th year on the throne. But I can’t get very excited about this jubilee event trumpeting the British monarchy. Oh, sure, Elizabeth seems like a nice enough lady and all that, but I can’t abide kings and queens, royalty of any kind, the very idea of it.

This radio program is entitled Common Sense, a title I borrowed from my long-deceased friend Tom Paine. Tom Paine’s pamphlets “Common Sense” and “The Crisis” were widely circulated throughout the colonies during the American Revolutionary War and kept the public’s morale high. Many historians say he did as much as any man could with paper and ink to win America’s freedom.

Paine hated all monarchy everywhere in the world. Especially King George III. He once called King George a “stupid, stubborn, worthless, brutish man.” And Paine wrote that “Even brutes do not devour their young, nor savages make war upon their families.” Paine agreed with the sentiment from the French Revolution, “Kings are in the moral order what monsters are in the physical.”

Sure, I know the queen is popular, and she doesn’t seem like a monster but what she represents is monstrous. So like Tom Paine, I’m not interested in hearing about the British monarchy. Call me a party-pooper, but I’m glad we threw the British monarchy out of our country a long time ago. Now, if we could just get them off our TV sets too.

This is Common Sense. I’m Paul Jacob.

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has some good impulses. Also some not-so-good impulses. Schwarzenegger would like to rein in taxes and spending and regulation, rather than letting them run riot. He has made an effort to impose spending caps on the legislature, even if he failed to get the best spending-cap initiative onto the ballot. Maybe he can get a third of a loaf now and half a loaf later.

But the governor must do better, especially when it comes to matters completely within his own control. He must seize the day. Grab the bull by the horns. Terminate, not collectinate. Don’t blame me for that clunky neologism, “collectinator.” Arnold came up with that himself or one of his media guys did. He wants to use his Hollywood charm to extract all the federal dollars that he can for California. He says, “I expect to get a lot of it simply because, you know, I’m very persuasive and I’m like, you know, a tick that hangs on it and will not let go until I get what I want.” A tick, eh? Does he really want to put the “tick” back in politics?

California political reporter Dan Walters recalls that other governors of the state, including Gray Davis, pledged to bring home more federal bacon, and didn’t do so well. Even if Schwarzenegger can do better, shouldn’t he throw his weight behind nobler efforts? He set out to change California’s political landscape. No more politics as usual. Terminate, not collectinate. You can do it, Arnold.

This is Common Sense. I’m Paul Jacob.