O the absurdities of modern Puritanism.

The Puritans opposed vice. Don’t we all? Ptui, I spit on vice!

The historic Puritans also opposed any depictions of vice, such as you might find in, say, a play. Every now and then we hear something like this, when critics rail against “sex and violence on TV.” I’m not an equal-opportunity consumer of entertainment. But it’s not a depiction of vice per se that would appall me. It’s how it’s depicted.

I mean, I’m not going to skip Shakespeare or a Biblical dramatization, let alone a history text because there’s sex and violence involved.Puritanism doesn’t die, and doesn’t fade away either. Just assumes new forms. The latest? In some cities, including a town in Nebraska, another in Colorado, another in Scotland, actors are prohibited from smoking even fake cigarettes on stage. Because of anti-smoking laws. I kid you not.The regulators are aware that this looks silly but think consistency requires such bans. Otherwise, well, people might smoke even the real tobacco without permission. Slippery slope!What’s next? Banning fake murders on stage in cities where murder just happens to be illegal?This is like old-time Puritan censorship: the banning of plays and playhouses; we’d have to ban film also.Oh, heck. Let’s just ban everything and get it over with. I’m tired of the suspense.

This is Common Sense. I’m Paul Jacob.