John G. Kemeny

I left Washington fully expecting to read the following story someday in one of our morning newspapers. Three scientists named Galileo, Newton, and Einstein have concluded that the earth is round. However, the New York Times has learned authoritatively that Professor John Doe of Podunk College has conclusive evidence that the earth is flat.

Professor John George Kemeny, as quoted in Dixy Lee Ray and Lou Guzzo, Trashing the Planet, 1990.