Think Freely Media presents Common Sense with Paul Jacob

Hey, have you heard about the latest discovery? It seems that chemists have discovered a whole new element.

Well, reports about this discovery have actually been floating around the Internet for a few years now, but it’s new to me anyway. A major research institution known as MRI has discovered the heaviest element yet. They’re calling it Governmentium. I

n addition to the protons, Governmentium is composed of one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, for a total atomic mass of 312. All these particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Governmentium is inert but easily detected, since it slows down every reaction it comes into contact with. Governmentium does not decay, but instead undergoes periodic reorganization in which some of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, the mass of Governmentium actually increases over time. That’s because during each reorganization, some morons become neutrons, forming isodopes. This propensity to promote morons leads some scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain saturation point.

This saturation point is referred to as “Critical Morass.” You can’t make this stuff up. Or at least, I can’t. As I say, I got it off the Internet. The author is anonymous.

This is Common Sense. I’m Paul Jacob.

By: Redactor

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